Truths My Vengeance Demon Told Me
by J. Watson
Summary: Robin Wood, son of Slayer Nikki Wood, must cope with his surrogate father Bernard Crowley's impending death. When he is visited by a Vengeance Demon, he is promised the knowledge of his mother's killer. Will Robin find the answers that he is looking for?
1. Dreams of Death and Sadness

It was a question that would later be asked by Buffy Summers: as the son of a Slayer, did Robin have the same dreams that the Slayers had?

* * *

><p>When he was a child, Robin dreamed of his mother Nikki. It would be of the moments that they shared shortly before her death. He dreamt about when Nikki took him to the Central Park Zoo, and how he got to feed the sheep. He dreamt about when he watched <em>Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold<em> at The Gem with his mother. Although he didn't understand what was happening, he thought that the statuesque Tamara Dobson was just like Nikki. Robin dreamt of when Nikki took him to see the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, and that he cried for joy when he saw Aviator Snoopy.

For the longest time, these were the only memories that Robin had of Nikki. If he dared to open it, Robin also had the "Slayer Emergency Kit" to remember her by. But Robin didn't need the emergency kit. For when he became a teenager, he started dreaming of what the Slayers dreamed.

* * *

><p>At first, he was frightened by Sineya the First Slayer's appearance. But then, when he studied the eyes that peeked through her painted white face, Robin could feel the loneliness that defined her existence. She died alone on a scorching summer night, though her essence was so strong that it passed onto the next girl. Even though the Slayers rarely said anything, Robin knew their names:<p>

Thessily, the Greek Slayer that longed for greatness.

Lady Shobu, the Chinese Slayer that was hindered by society.

Yuki Makimura, a Japanese Slayer that turned to vampirism for immortality.

Eliane, the French Slayer who entered a taboo relationship with her Watcher.

White Doe, an American Slayer raised by the Croatoans.

Ildiko, the Hungarian Slayer that died at the hands of a sadistic murderess.

Elizabeth Weston, a transgendered American Slayer that used convention to an advantage.

Naayeeneizghani, a Navajo Slayer that died on what became Sunnydale, California.

Lucy Hanover, an American Slayer that lived during the Civil War.

Eleanor Boudreau, an American Slayer that discovered the truth behind her calling.

Rachel O'Connor, an American Slayer that struggled to survive during the Great Depression.

Anni, a German Slayer that fought against the Jewish prejudice that permeated her community.

Asha Sayre, an African-American Slayer living in the racially tense Deep South.

There were countless others that Robin was aware of. The ironic thing is that he dreamt of different moments that occurred in Nikki's life as the Slayer—except for her death. Perhaps, in some cosmic way, the Powers That Be wanted to shield Robin from seeing her fate. Curiously, the same thing happened with Xin Rong, a Chinese Slayer whose demise was also a mystery to Robin.

* * *

><p>It frustrated Robin tremendously. He was quickly becoming a man. He wouldn't be a child for long, and he felt that he could enact vengeance in his mother's name. But the dreams weren't telling him anything. If Bernard knew anything about Nikki's murderer, he didn't let on. Perhaps Bernard was being protective of Robin, as he might have felt that he failed Nikki in some way. For a time, Bernard even hid the true reason why Ananda Kanok was staying with Robin and him.<p>

Since Ananda was still alive, it took a while for Robin to figure out that she was the Slayer. It was not until he walked in on a training session between her and Bernard. Robin was astonished by Ananda's strength. Here was a girl with Down Syndrome that people would automatically stereotype. They would never anticipate the courage and wisdom that Ananda possessed. When Bernard finally noticed Robin's presence, he shut the door. None of them ever discussed Ananda's abilities.

As he grew older, Robin's thirst for vengeance became intensified. He trained in whatever martial arts that Bernard could bestow upon him. He used the excuse that he needed to beef up his extracurricular activities for college. Although the Slayer dreams were not as frequent as when he was a teenager, Robin still didn't want them. He had seen enough death and sadness in his sleep. The dreams stopped when he was put on medication—a major step he took in college because the student clinic kept everything confidential. Bernard never found out about it.

* * *

><p>The years passed by in a flash. With Bernard now in a nursing home, Robin debated as to whether he should tell him what he dreamt all these years. Bernard and Robin had shared everything that a father and son might share—except the very thing that brought them together in the first place. It was always a tough topic to bring up.<p>

Vengeance threatened to eat Robin alive. That is, until his cries for vengeance caught the attention of a certain being.


	2. A Demon Walked Into a Bar

Raphael couldn't stand it anymore. For most Vengeance Demons, they thrived on quotas, and didn't care who demanded their services. But Raphael functioned on a different wavelength.

For twenty years, he had been receiving the same cries for vengeance. In this case, it was a man that mourned his mother's death. While there was some justification for his anger, Raphael had hoped that the person would find peace. There was no peace to be made, not in this man's tortured heart.

Of all the places, Raphael had to meet the individual at the Santa Fe Airport Grill. How Raphael hated bars, especially those in small airports. How many times could Raphael have preyed on drunkenly outbursts? Yet, for humans, those were the few times that vengeance was expressed so purely and innocently.

Raphael wasted no time. He stood ominously near Robin Wood. They were the only two individuals on a Sunday afternoon.

"Who the hell are you?" asked Robin, "Airport security or something?"

Robin was not in the best mood for a conversation. The nursing home called Robin, and told him that Bernard might not have long to live. Robin wasted no time booking a flight from Santa Fe to Los Angeles.

"Does it look like I'm security?" asked Raphael.

"You have that smug look on your face," said Robin, "You're judging me."

"True," said Raphael, "I'm studying you."

"Why?" asked an annoyed Robin.

"I want to know if you'll actually be ready…" said Raphael.

"Look, sir, I don't know who you are. But I don't want to engage in a cryptic…," said Robin, drunkenly.

"…Ready to avenge your mother," said Raphael, finishing his sentence.

"My mother…how do you…look, I'm not in the mood for games," said Robin.

"Nor am I," said Raphael, "In fact, I'm tired of feeling your calls for vengeance."

"I'm not sure I follow you," said Robin.

"I'm a Vengeance Demon," said Raphael, "I know all about you. I know about your troubled past with Vampire Slayers."

Robin stayed silent.

"Ananda Kanok. She was another person that you lost," said Raphael, "You've been exposed to death. But Ananda was different. She reminded you of somebody close to you. She reminded you of family."

Robin slammed Raphael against the wall.

"Stop talking about Ananda," said Robin.

"She was the Slayer. Just like your mother," said Raphael, "You cared for the both of them. You feel you failed them."

Robin let go of Raphael, and returned to the bar. He reached over the bar, grabbed a bottle of scotch, and poured himself a drink. He paused, and poured another drink for Raphael.

"The bartender's on break. Since you're acting like my best friend, I might as well pour you one," said Robin.

"No thanks," said Raphael, "I despise alcohol."

"Don't tell me…you're a noble sort," said Robin.

"Not even. Liquor just got me in a lot of trouble," said Raphael.

"That's what alcohol does…that's the fun of it," said Robin.

"Believe me, what happened to me…was far from fun," said Raphael.

"So be it. So what do you know about my mother?" asked Robin.

"Nikki Wood…a gifted fighter that moved like lightning," said Raphael.

Robin smiled.

"I was smart enough to never cross paths with her," said Raphael, "But a particular person wasn't."

"Do you know who he is?" asked Robin.

"Yes," said Raphael.

"Tell me," said Robin.

"Soon," said Raphael.

"Why won't you tell me?" asked Robin.

"Because you're not ready," said Raphael.

"Believe me, I am," said Robin, "I would kill the man if I knew who he was."

Raphael pondered this, as he sat close to Robin. Robin was drinking his scotch when Raphael attacked him. Robin blocked the hit, struck Raphael in the face with a right hook, and punched him in the chest with his left fist. His movements were clumsy, yet the attacks connected.

"I trained myself hard to handle anything," said Robin.

Raphael dodged Robin's next onslaught. He caught Robin's fist, and applied pressure. Robin screamed with pain, but tried to punch with his other hand. Raphael caught the other fist, and began extending Robin's arms. Robin shrieked in pain.

"Let this be a lesson to you," said Raphael, "I'm giving you mercy. The one you seek will not."

He released Robin, and threw him on the floor.

"I exist to deliver vengeance," said Raphael.

"Really? So, deliver vengeance then," said Robin.

"That's what I intend to do," said Raphael, "But it will be you who delivers the final blow. Take care of your personal matters with your 'father' first, and then we can then talk."

"Who are you?" asked Robin, as he stood up from the floor.

"We'll meet again," said Raphael, as he vanished in blue mist.

The bartender came back from his break. "Did I miss anything?"


	3. Crowley's Testament

As Robin entered the grounds of Restful Pines, it became obvious that the facility didn't match the brochure. The brochure showed beautiful rolling hills and a pristine Spanish-style building. Instead, the land was flat and the building was painted a garish pink. It was an odd combination of Spanish-tiles and Mexican décor.

There was a security guard parked outside in a golf cart. Perhaps in case the elderly residents decided to high tail it off the grounds. After checking in, the nurse begrudgingly showed Robin to Crowley's room. The door was ajar, and Robin caught a glimpse of Crowley. He looked even paler than Robin remembered.

It was painfully obvious that the years that Crowley smoked his pipe had caught up to him. Robin almost felt overdressed in his suit, as Crowley was still in his bathrobe on his bed. Crowley, a man that was once embarrassed being seen in his slippers, looked strangely comfortable in his new surroundings. Perhaps, when you reach a certain age, you let go of certain proprieties. At least, that's what Robin guessed at.

"Robin, you're here. I'm glad you came," said Crowley.

"Me, too. It's good to see you, Bernie," said Robin.

"How have you been?" asked Crowley. "Are you still teaching at Princeton?"

"I resigned a few months ago. I didn't feel like it was the right fit for me anymore," said Robin.

"I see," said Crowley. "Well, I always thought those Princeton colleagues of yours were stuffy. You made the right call."

Robin fessed up: "Actually, I didn't resign by choice. I discovered the dean was sleeping with one of the students. I guess I couldn't keep my mouth shut."

"Ah, just like when I took you to the movies once. I was trying to pass you off as seven to get the discounted ticket, but you kept proudly proclaiming that you were nine."

Crowley and Robin laughed at the memory. "I know. I just can't seem to conform, no matter what the consequence."

"What are your plans?" asked Crowley.

"I don't know. Lately, I've been a rolling stone. I don't know where to focus my energies."

"That's unlike you. Even when you were a boy, you had plans from A-Z. Is there something going on, Robin?"

"No, I'm all right," said Robin. "Except, I recently received a visit from a Vengeance Demon."

"You did. Why?" asked Crowley.

"I think you know why," said Robin. It wasn't exactly the transition that Robin was hoping for. Then again, there was no right way to broach the topic.

Crowley sighed. "I've told you to stop looking for him."

"I can't, Bernie. You knew this day would come. I thought that's why you trained me all these years."

"I trained you because I knew what was out there," said Crowley. "Not for you to go all gung ho in a revenge quest."

"Be honest with me. You were afraid that that vampire would come for me. To finish me off," said Robin.

"I don't want to talk about this," said Crowley.

"Why not?" asked Robin, as he sat on Crowley's bed. "You can tell me what I need to know. I'm ready for this. I can avenge her if I know who I'm looking for."

"And then what?" asked Crowley. "You don't think that the same thought ran through my head. But I know the danger. That's why I never sent Ananda after him."

"Ananda was wet behind the ears. She had nowhere near the knowledge that I have," said Robin.

"But you're a normal man, Robin. Even on her worst day, Ananda would've had a better chance. I can't say if you're prepared enough," said Crowley.

"It's just one vampire, Crowley. I can handle it," insisted Robin.

"You don't know how well connected your mother's killer is. You take him out, and an army might go after you."

"So you do know who it is?" asked Robin.

Crowley looked away. "Yes. He's an extremely dangerous vampire. He's not like the others that I've trained you to dispatch. He's something far worse."

"You've said that about others that we've hunted," said Robin.

"Not like him," said Crowley. "I won't tell you who he is, Robin. I made a promise in the memory of your mother that I wouldn't expose you to him. I blame myself till this day for what happened to her, you know."

"I don't buy that, Bernie. If you were so concerned for her, why didn't you stop her? Why didn't you tell her to walk away?" asked an angry Robin.

"You don't think I tried! I bought a one-way ticket for you both to South America. I wanted her to leave slaying for good," said Crowley.

"You never told me that," said Robin.

"I didn't want to hurt you," said Crowley.

"By not telling me the truth?" asked Robin.

"To spare you from knowing that she couldn't stay away," said Crowley. "When you were a child, you had this fantasy that if she wasn't around vampires, your mother would've been safe. Eventually, when the vampires weren't around, she came back to be around them."

"Well, maybe you didn't try hard enough to dissuade her," said Robin.

"Look, Robin. It didn't matter what I did. Nikki was a Slayer through and through. It didn't matter if I sent you further away. She was going to return to slaying because it was in her being…" said Crowley.

Robin stayed silent as he let Crowley explain.

"I thought she'd accept the chance to start a new life. But I knew that she would return, though I hoped with the bottom of my heart that it wouldn't happen that way," said Crowley.

"It was her allegiance to the mission, wasn't it?" responded Robin.

"Yes," said Crowley sadly. "To be honest, I wasn't surprised when she showed up at my doorstep with you in her arms."

Robin stared outside of the window. It was strange that he and Crowley were having such a deep conversation, while the security was out in the back drinking from his satchel.

"Let's not beat around the bush, Robin. I don't have much time to live," said Crowley. "I don't have anyone left now. I quit the Council. I've outlived all my family. The only person left that means anything to me is you. Can we just enjoy our time together?"

Robin didn't press Crowley any further. "Okay. But on one condition. I'm living here in Los Angeles, and I'm taking you out of this dump."

Crowley laughed heartily. "You have a deal, my boy."

* * *

><p>Robin's call to take Crowley out of Restful Pines was the best decision he had ever made. Crowley lived longer than the doctor had predicted. The joyful relationship that he had with Robin must've lifted his spirits. Robin enjoyed taking Crowley everywhere. They even managed to sneak a trip to Europe so that Crowley could visit his family's tombstones.<p>

Throughout their time together, Crowley kept trying to talk Robin out of his revenge quest. Even until the end, Crowley tried but couldn't convince Robin otherwise.

Robin felt a deep sadness when Crowley finally passed. He never pressed him again for the name of his mother's killer. He respected Crowley's wishes, and made the most out of their time together. Crowley was the closest thing that Robin had to a father, let alone family.

As he turned to leave the cemetery, Robin was met by Raphael. His neon blue eyes glowed in the dark.

"I'm sorry about your loss," said Raphael.

"He was the last tie to my past," said Robin. "He's all I had left, and the only person that stopped me from pursuing my vengeance."

"So, now you're a free agent then?" asked Raphael.

"Yes. Can you tell me who murdered my mother so I can seek him out?" asked Robin.

"I can't do that," said Raphael. "It will destroy the natural balance."

"Excuse me?" asked an incredulous Robin. "What do you mean natural balance? That vampire ruined the natural balance by murdering my mother!"

"Go to Sunnydale," said Raphael. "And bring plenty of weaponry."

"That's it," said Robin. "You're not going to give me a name?"

"I told you before that you would commit vengeance," said Raphael. "It is your responsibility to learn the details."

Robin hurled expletives as Raphael vanished.

Little did Robin know that Raphael was under direct orders not to reveal the killer's identity. D'Hoffryn made the call for reasons that were not divulged to him. But at least Raphael gave Robin enough knowledge to start him on his quest. Since the destination was Sunnydale, Raphael hoped that a certain newly remade Vengeance Demon would pick up where he left off.

* * *

><p>It was ironic that the truth did nothing to improve Robin's life. He followed Raphael's cryptic directions about Sunnydale. He became the principal of their high school in an effort to get close to Buffy Summers. He had hoped that something in her Slayer dreams could provide him with the knowledge that he was desperate for. Even though he disagreed with Buffy's alliance with Spike—a vampire—Robin still clung to his hope.<p>

But it wasn't Buffy that gave him insight. It was the First Evil—the enemy that they would later wage a bloody battle against. The vampire was Spike, the vermin that Buffy had a quasi-romantic connection to. Even though Robin knew that the First Evil was preying upon his emotions, he jumped at the chance to finally commit retribution in his mother Nikki's honor.

Rupert Giles was game, as Robin tortured Spike in anticipation of the kill. Giles' efforts to distract Buffy were unsuccessful, though. When Buffy found that Spike had turned the tables on Robin and spared him, she gave Robin an ultimatum: try to hurt Spike again and I'll let him kill you.

Robin didn't know what to think. How could a Slayer fall in love with the very thing that she was sworn to slay? He pretended to abandon his vendetta, claiming that he supported Buffy's statement that "the mission is what matters." Robin was going to have his revenge either way. There were countless enemies swarming Sunnydale. All Robin had to do was wait until Spike was alone.

When Spike did perish during the battle against the First Evil, Robin had mixed feelings. Even though he respected Spike for making the final sacrifice, Robin regretted the chance to deliver the final blow. His relationship with Faith Lehane afterwards worked for a while because both thought the other was more damaged.

And then reality set in with life after Sunnydale, and both hit rock bottom. It ended with Faith kicking him out of the bed, and calling Robin a "sellout." That hurt worse than if she would've called him an expletive. Even though he really didn't know how to interpret her comment, Robin still took the opportunity to leave.


	4. Mother to Son

Robin didn't exactly want a reunion, but he couldn't turn Buffy's request down.

How funny that their meeting was over dinner again—just like their first date. Only this time, Buffy and Robin were former shells of themselves. The confident warriors that they once were got replaced by victims of life and circumstance.

It wasn't exactly a Hallmark moment, but Robin did the best that he could to advise Buffy. She made the unfortunate move of getting pregnant. As he sat across from her, Robin wondered if this was the same conversation that Crowley had with his mother Nikki. Robin could see the fear and shame in Buffy's eyes.

When Robin returned home, he sat exhausted in his chair. Did he just lie to Buffy, telling her that she could be both a mother and a Slayer? Was he using Buffy's situation as a pity party to voice his own resentment towards his mother?

Speaking of which, what happened to the vengeful Robin that wanted to avenge his mother at all costs? Was he being a sellout like Faith had called him not too long ago?

The room crackled with electricity. Robin didn't react, as he knew who his surprise guest was.

Raphael stood in the center of the room. His eyes glowed neon blue on his demon visage.

"Hello, Raphael," said a numbed Robin.

"Hello, Robin," responded Raphael, as his features morphed into his human form.

* * *

><p>Robin stood up and faced Raphael. He had been waiting for this moment.<p>

"I never did get to thank you for reneging on your promise. I heard it first-hand from the First Evil who murdered my mother," said Robin. "So tell me, were you sleeping with him too like Buffy was?"

Raphael dodged the sarcastic reference to Spike. "I don't expect you to understand, but Vengeance Demons abide by certain rules too. Our actions can have a detrimental effect on humanity."

"You're right, I don't understand. That sounds like a copout to me," responded Robin.

"Call it what you will," said Raphael. "But it was necessary at the time."

"Remember, you came to me," said Robin. "I didn't ask for your intervention."

"True. But had I not given you direction, you would've continued being a broken man with no future."

"You're so arrogant…you dare judge me like that," said Robin.

"Crowley was dying. He was your moral compass. Without him, you verged on becoming an alcoholic to drown away your loneliness," said Raphael. "You're part of something bigger now."

"And yet, you're gracing me again with your presence. So, am I giving off the vibes again? Do you still feel the need for vengeance on my part?" asked Robin. A part of him hoped that Raphael would say yes. It would confirm to Robin that he was somehow keeping his mother's spirit alive.

"I don't feel vengeance from you anymore," said Raphael. Robin was dejected. _You are a sellout after all_. "But your conversation with the Slayer has brought out somebody else's vengeance."

"Don't tell me it's the father of Buffy's child," said Robin. He was grasping for a distraction.

"No, it's coming from someone else. The ghost of your mother," said Raphael. "And it seems like you're the only one who can take that vengeance away."

"Okay," said a dumbfounded Robin.

* * *

><p>Raphael transported Robin to the Ghost Roads. Long ago, Robin had heard of the Ghost Roads. But he never imagined that it would look so desolate.<p>

"All these years, I just assumed that she passed on," said Robin. "Has my mother been here all this time?"

"Yes," said Raphael, "She's been trapped here because she couldn't let go."

"What can I do?" asked Robin.

"Help your mother rest in peace. Before her vengeance overtakes her," said Raphael. "I can only give you twenty minutes. Then, we have to return back."

"I don't know if that's enough time," said Robin.

"That's all I can give you," said Raphael.

"How will I…?" Raphael vanished before Robin could finish his question

Robin proceeded down the Ghost Road. Strangely, he knew where to find Nikki. It was as if a force was directing him towards her. And there she was, standing alone with a pensive look on her face. Her hair was still shaped like an afro. She had on her Cleopatra Jones duds, only she was missing her leather jacket.

"Robin," said Nikki, as she placed her hands on his face. He put his hands over hers. It felt comforting. He missed her touch.

"Mom," said Robin, as a tear escaped his eye. He knew this was genuinely her. Not the ruse that the First Evil used to sway Robin.

"I really counted on you," said Nikki. She released her touch and turned her back towards him.

"For what?" asked Robin.

"For not believing that I didn't love you enough…I thought out of everyone…you'd understand…because you're part of me," said Nikki. "You're the closest thing that I have to a true legacy."

"Didn't you have the 'mission'?" asked Robin. "You're never truly gone, right? The Slayer line is perpetual."

"Yes, in a sense, all Slayers live again in the bloodline. But it's not the same. Not like when we existed," said Nikki.

"It's been hard existing without you," said Robin.

"How could it be hard? I wasn't there for you," said Nikki. "Not like a true mother is supposed to be."

"You weren't," said Robin. He wondered why he uttered the words. He knew it would hurt Nikki deeply. "I forgive you, though."

"I can't forgive myself," said Nikki. "Why did you lie to Buffy?"

"I didn't lie to her," said Robin. "She has more support than you were given. She has the freedom to be both."

"She doesn't," said Nikki flatly. "When the time comes, she'll choose the calling. It's stronger than anything you can imagine. I tried to be grateful for what Crowley did for me. But it didn't take me long to return to New York like a bloodhound."

With her words, Nikki lighted up like a bonfire. Robin instinctively tried to help Nikki, and got burned from her flame.

"I'm sorry, honey," said Nikki, as she returned to normal. She tried to soothe his burned hand. "I don't know what's been happening to me. Lately, I just haven't been feeling like myself."

"You're in this place. How could you feel like yourself?" asked Robin.

"It's been getting worse," said Nikki. Robin looked closely at his mother. She looked ashen. There were parts of her that were crumbling away. "I think this place is wearing me down. I just want to fade away."

"Don't say that," said Robin.

"Why not?" asked Nikki. "You're grown. You never needed me. Crowley's gone, and so is everybody else that we called family. I brought you into this without thinking twice, and you're paying for my mistakes."

"You don't need to worry about me, mom. You need to worry about you," said Robin.

"I did just worry about me. I chose the calling," said Nikki.

"No, you didn't. If you truly chose the calling, you wouldn't be feeling so much guilt. It's time that you let go," said Robin.

Nikki looked up at Robin. Her face was crumbling into ash.

"Mom, please. Do it for me. Give up the pain and move on," begged Robin.

She closed her eyes. Robin grabbed her shoulders, but they began to break apart in his fingers. "Live my son. Don't hold onto me anymore."

"Mom, no!" yelled Robin. He felt himself pulled back into the living world.

* * *

><p>"No!" yelled Robin, as he lunged at Raphael. "Send me back. I have to save her!"<p>

"It's too late," said Raphael. "Her guilt and sadness consumed her. There was nothing that you could do."

Robin stared blankly at Raphael. It couldn't be too late. There was always a way. There was always second chances.

He sunk to the floor in a fetal position, sobbing. After all this time, it couldn't end like this. In his grief, Nikki's words echoed in his mind: _Don't hold onto me anymore_. Once again, Robin would have to find a way to exist without her.


End file.
